A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize