You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
