You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Randomize
