your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize