Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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