The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I just want to make out with him forever
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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