Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
