if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
