I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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