I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
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