You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
