im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
