Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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