Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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