Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
