Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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