well I can't set my house on fire every night
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
