My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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