Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
