That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
