:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
