it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
