I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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