let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
