Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Randomize
