Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
