College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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