Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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