real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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