I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
