The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
