theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
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