I didn't shave. On purpose
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
