yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
