i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
