Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
one two three fourrrrnication!
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize