Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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