I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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