ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
