Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
My pussy is not your playground.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
false alarm, still single
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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