That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize