you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
