1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Randomize
