I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
