you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
