Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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