Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I am mentally ready for anal.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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