Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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