Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
