the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
