You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
