Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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