So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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