just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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