do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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