You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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