He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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