He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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