the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
